[Bookstoprisoners] brace yourself

[Sandra Ahten]

I published an article in the Public i about BtP and it featured a letter 
from Malcom... who wanted a chess book -- desperately! The letter got set 
aside waiting for a chess book to come in. I saw a chess book come through 
about 2 weeks ago and sent it to him with an apology that it took so long 
(almost 2 months). This is his next letter to me. (The reference to my 
picture is the photo that was in the Public i). To give those of you who 
don't want to read the whole thing a brief summary is that he is desperately 
depressed and suicidal. I immediatley wrote to him and Kevin (my husband who 
is a therepist...read both his and my letters and felt that my letter would 
probably keep him from suicide... but I do plan on writing Malcom in a day 
or two and make him promise not to kill himself... or if I don't hear from 
him... telling him that I will call the authorities. Malcom has been in 
since 1989 and will be in through 2032.


Dear Sandra,
First, I would like to extend my most warmest thanks for the books. But my 
main reason for writing to you is because I need to talk to someone very 
bad. And after seeing a photo of you, it honestly did make me feel so very 
happy. Because I have been living in so much pain all these years, 
especially being in here for a crime that I never did do. And I have seeked 
help over the years, but ot know avail. That’s why I have through about 
ending it all on my birthday, Novemeber 1, because I am having such a 
struggle just coping everyday.

I can’t eat or sleep and I (cry) just about everyday because I am deeply 
depressed, and I have been diagnosed with severe major chronic depression. 
And none of the medications are doing me any good. I also have severe 
asthma, lung disease, and I’ve had a pulmonary embolism. So I hope that you 
can fully understand how very lonely and sad and painful my life really is. 
I just don’t know for the life of me why I can’t find nobody that would just 
be my friend?

And I prayed and studied the bible for ??years, so since nothing has changed 
in my life after all these years, I just am finding it so very hard to cope 
and move forward in life. I also don’t understand why I just can’t find any 
happiness in life, or why I can’t be fully loved or cared about. Is it so 
wrong for a person to want to be loved and shown some honest affection from 
another human being? Why does life, or should I say my life have to be this 
way. I just can’t handle this being lonely like this anymore. So I am 
begging you to please help me hind a friend before it’s too late. And I 
would never impose upon you, because you seem to be very intelligent, and 
I’m sure that you do have your own life, and you look like you are married 
with a great husband and wonderful family.

So I am turning to you because I have nobody else to turn too, and I just 
have a tiny bit of hope that you do somewhat care. You know, this is the 
very first time that I ever received any mail in all these years with the 
exception of legal mail. And this is so hard for me to even write this to 
you without crying like I am now. And every effort that I make is always a 
failed, useless, hopeless attempt. So I know that this is asking a lot of 
you, but you are my last hope, and I am so very sorry for even imposing upon 
you but please know and understand how much pain, that I am living with, 
because I would like to just die, because I didn’t ask for my life to be 
like this, because I am a decent human being, that just needs a friend!

So please don’t think that I am crazy or something, because I just don’t 
know what else to do, and I hate myself and this life that I’m in right now. 
And I have thought about this for a long time and I know that I will not be 
able to live this life beyond my birthday on November 1, 2005. And out of 
all those people in the world that I have to be this lonely without a 
friend, living my life in all this pain!

I pray that I will hear back from you with a glimmer of hope for me. How 
Sandra, I thank you so much for you taking the time to read my letter, and 
for putting my request in the paper, but to me I am nothing, so nobody 
really cares.

Also, I didn’t mean to impose upon you, and for that I am deeply sorry. I 
hope to hear from you soon, but I know I won’t ever hear from you and so I 
wish you well within your endeavors in life. Take good care of yourself, and 
your loved ones.

Respectfully Yours,
Very Truly,
Mr. Malcom “Tony” Wiggins
N 04370
2600 N. Brinton Ave
Dixon, IL 61021

p.s. My life right now is much worse than “hurricane Katrina” full of 
nothing but emptiness and darkness! “A tear without a smile.”

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Please forward this to anyone who you think may be willing to write to Tony. 
Please let me know if you write him. Let me know how you think this should 
be handled.
Thanks,
Sandra