[Newspoetry] The Homosexual Agenda

[Bill Wendling]

Not from me, but funny nonetheless :)

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Many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of
the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend
of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. I
certainly hope it will assist your own planning efforts. It reads as
follows:

The Homosexual Agenda

6:00 am  Gym

8:00 am  Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)

9:00 am  Hair appointment

10:00 am  Shopping (preferably at Marshall Fields's, Macy's or Nordstom's)

12:00 pm  Brunch

2:00 pm
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State, and Local
   Governments, as well as all other national governments,
2) destroy all healthy marriages,
3) replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and
   Jamaican drug cartels,
4) bulldoze all houses of worship,
5) secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media, and
6) be fabulous

2:30 pm  Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the
stress of world conquest

4:00 pm   Cocktails

6:00 pm  Light Dinner (soup, salad [with arugula and balsamic vinegar
dressing], Chardonnay)

8:00 pm  Theater

10.30 pm  Cocktails in the 'hood

12:00 m  Bed (du jour)

-- 
|| Bill Wendling			wendling at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu