[Newspoetry] Nader Chooses Al Gore, George W. Bush as Running Mates

[Joe Futrelle]

Nader Chooses Al Gore, George W. Bush as Running Mates

Concern over Ralph Nader's candidacy siphoning votes from the major
parties was heightened today by his official selection of Al Gore and
George W. Bush as running mates.

"This will almost certainly attract Gore and Bush supporters to
Nader's insurgent candidacy," said a reporter, quoting himself in an
article on the subject.  A photographer following Nader on the
campaign trail was able to get a photograph of himself in the act of
photographing himself, reflected in Nader's glasses.

Analysts went out to lunch with each other.  "Screw analysis," vented
one to the other, ordering a bottle of wine at random.  "Don't let it
get to you," responded the other, "just take a couple of days off,
you'll get back into the swing of things.  This happens to me every
couple of years too, believe me."

In unrelated news, scientists announced the discoveries of ten planets
in nearby solar systems.  The planets were discovered by taking a poll
of planets in this solar system and asking them how they thought the
discovery of nearby planets would affect scientists.  The poll had a
margin of error of +/- 175%.  The newly-discovered planets did not
return calls placed to their offices.

--
Joe Futrelle
Editor-within-chief,
Newspoetry dot com