[Newspoetry] FLAME WAR!!!!!!

[William Gillespie]

> And Wm, now addressing you in particular, weren't you the one who
> told me that the greatest accomplishment of Newspoetry was the
> creation of the Newspoetry list which inspired so many people who
> previously had not self-identified themselves as writers to actually
> begin writing? Don't you imagine that in part this occurred because
> of the friendly, down-home, intimate feel of the list-postings in
> general? In other words, doesn't this aspect of the list promote
> community, even if some of the members, like myself, aren't within
> spitting distance of the actual community in Urbana?

You're right, Dirk. Community is important. But I think it's time we had a real
flame war. Here's a poem I wrote to flame everyone. Hope you all like it. It's
called "Spider."

---

Browser better check who's crawling through your files cause I'm gonna fuck with
you like only information can. You're only as strong as your weakest hyperlink.
Next page you click on I'm gonna be there grinning and you'll crash with noplace
to scroll to. Watch your manners on the bulletin board. Don't you know it's rude
to point and click? Don't send hatemail to strangers. I'm the rat crawling the
wires and I bite. I'm in the cracks of the mosaic. I'm the virus on your hard
disc and you ain't got no protection. I know how to change your bloodtype and
how to multiply your balance by negative one. I'm in your modem and the phantom
flickering in your dreams. I'm sniffing all your packets. Bow before your
server. I got a finger on you. Surferboy better stick to your homepage or turn
off and go out on the street where it's safe. Don't fuck around on the WWW.

---

Okay. Well. I look forward to some good flame mail.

Peace and Love,
William

>
>
> I don't know. Again, maybe it's just me.
>
> --Dirk (in Cincinnati, but still wondering about Bill's hat--but in a
> good way!)
>
> >The purpose of this message is to address complaints I have received about
> >this list being used for Urbana-only announcements regarding neither news
> >nor poetry. It is unlikely, for example, that correspondents living in
> >Chicago, Cincinnati, Boston, San Diego, or England have Bill's hat. Hell, I
> >live in Urbana, and I don't even have Bill's hat. "What hat," they are
> >wondering, "and who's Bill?" Such people would doubtlessly approach such an
> >email message the way one might approach a meeting of the WEFT Associates,
> >or the Bulletin Board at the Food Co-op, if you know what I mean. Let's try
> >to keep the cardinals off the purple coneflowers, if possible. I mean, how
> >would you feel if you were smoking hand-rolled cigarettes made with Cherry
> >tobacco from Jon's Pipe Shop, reading the Octopus with Dave King in the
> >bowling alley at the Illini Union, and Chief Illiniwek walked up to you and
> >said "While I agree with the aims of the PRC, I think it is rife with
> >internal political maneuvering and suffers from the machismo of some of the
> >older activists." Pretty weird, I bet, and that's exactly my point. But
> >this isn't just about the missing hat of a guy who is so relentlessly
> >extroverted that he's been in 46 Newspoets' houses all over the world in
> >the past week alone. (That's the power of Birkenstocks!) Try to look at it
> >their way: I mean, there they are trying to cross Vine street on Elm to get
> >to the Elite Diner, but they can't get any farther than the brick median
> >strip because the students are back in town. It's like arriving at the
> >Courier Cafe' when they're out of croissants and the salad bar has already
> >been taken down. They probably feel like taking a walk down by the
> >abandoned water tower near the train station, or just enjoying a Bob at the
> >Paradiso, but they can't, because they have to cook a vegan dinner of
> >organic eggplant from the Blue Moon farm for the School for Designing
> >Society. See what I mean? Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to start a
> >controversy about Democracy Now or write an angry riposte to Carl
> >Estabrook's latest "News from Neptune," believe me, I'm just trying to find
> >a parking space so I can return some Lyn Hejinian books to the stacks and
> >maybe take in some Thai food at the Y Eatery. Please don't think that I'm
> >State Representative Johnson voting against an amendment to protect people
> >from discrimination based on sexual orientation. So, when posting to the
> >Newspoetry list, please try to be respectful of those who are least likely
> >to have your hat.
> >
> >Our Founder
> >
> >Bill Wendling wrote:
> >
> >  > You've seen it.
> >  > You've loved it.
> >  > You've laughed at it behind my back.
> >  >
> >  > My hat is gone.
> >  > I know not where.
> >  > If you have an idea, I'm all ears.
> >  >
> >  > Many questions may be asked,
> >  > but the reunion is the most important part.
> >  >
> >  > Thanks to one and all!
> >  >
> >  > --
> >  > || Bill Wendling                        wendling at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu
> >  >
> >  > _______________________________________________
> >  > Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu
> >  > http://ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu/mailman/listinfo/newspoetry
> >
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu
> >http://ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu/mailman/listinfo/newspoetry
>
> _______________________________________________
> Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu
> http://ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu/mailman/listinfo/newspoetry