[Newspoetry] Academic Announcement

[Wendy Edwards]

In response to concerns about the underrepresentation of women on its
faculty, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a new Ph.D.
program in Home Economics.  Professor Boyardee, the newly appointed
department chair, commented that the ability to make economical and
nutritious meals for the entire family would be a vital skill in the 21st
century.  "We believe that we can continue the excellent culinary
tradition started by classics such as Spaghetti-o's."

The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign responded quickly by
beginning construction of a new home economics facility in the middle of
the Morrow Plots.  "We're delighted that we found a way to use the land,"
commented a university administrator.  Plans are also underway to rename
NCSA the "National Center for Scrubbing Appliances."