[Newspoetry] Ya'll might be getting sick of hearing about this, but I don't care

[Anne Bargar]

Due Dates: An Urban Myth Exposed

Today is February 15th.  Today was supposed to be "The Day," The day when
my sister was to be officially relieved of being pregnant, 
(and for all I know, it very well may be) 
But as anyone with siblings or children or nieces or nephews (actually,
pretty much anyone who knows anybody) can tell you, 
that whole due date "thing"
is a crock of shit.

Right now, she will tell you to not ever give pregnancy a shot. 
She will tell you how uncomfortable she is, and you have to watch your
coffee consumption. And hemorrhoids are often involved. 
She will also tell you that she is going to have every tube in her body
tied, including those in her ears, so that the mere suggestion of more
children will not set off some kind of hormonal reaction that she isn't
aware of.
She's done it twice.  She should know.  Take it from an expert.

That said, I must admit that every time I hear the phone ring for the next
indeterminate*

*(anywhere up to and including two weeks)*

period of time, I am guaranteed to jump up
and run to the phone,
hoping (for once) that it
is my parents.

-Babs