[Newspoetry] Investors drop Newspoetry after lower-than-expected earnings report

[Joe Futrelle]

Investors Drop Newspoetry After Lower-than-expected Earnings Report

Urbana, IL (Associated Poets):

Newspoetry (NPTR) stock plummeted in heavy trading today after the
organization released a disappointing quarterly earnings report.
Investors had expected the web content provider to show earnings of a
couple of bucks here and there, but instead revenues were flat at $0 a
share, while costs held steady at $15.

Newspoetry editor Joe Futrelle could not be reached for comment and
was reportedly secluded in his vast, castle-like mansion in the woods
of some unspecified European country.  Market analysts fear that
Futrelle has been embezzling from the wildly successful website, which
receives tens of page views a day, many from Futrelle himself.
Leading firms have downgraded the stock from "blow out" to "feign
ignorance".

A seemingly desparate home office responded to the stock devaluation
by firing hundreds of Newspoetry staff, none of whom were previously
aware that they were employed by the firm but many of which claimed to
be on strike anyway.

--
Joe Futrelle
Editor-within-chief,
Newspoetry dot com