[Newspoetry] Walking Spiff

[Mike Lehman]

OK Spiff
Want to go visit Yeti?
I (stupidly) unlatch his collar
I look at him
He looks at me
We see I to eye
But the message gets garbled

I say "Let's go"
The chase is on.

Spiff!!!
Come here
He doesn't even look over his shoulder
Until he's three blocks away

That damn dog
I'm running
Pretty soon
Huff-pant-huff
Not him
Me!
He's in much better shape
And no doubt younger
Even in dog years

Spiff gets to Cottage Grove
Turns right
Are we going to Betsy's?
(It's closed you stupid dog)
Only I'm the stupid one
For giving him freedom
He knows what to do with freedom
And it isn't hanging around with me

He cuts left now
Headed for the
Birthplace of solo cups
I keep hoping he stops to crap
But NO!!!
He's having too much fun!

We circle around
And back
(Thank god!)
I'm about to die
A heart attack
Or maybe just fall down

Is he headed home?
Not really
I encounter the search party
They're as helpless as me
Finally the editor tackles him
In Spiff's own yard

No more walks for Spiff
Without the leash
No more freedom from me
I can trust him
About as much as
Bush or Gore
Sorry about that
Spiff
But my pride was hurt
And then my lungs
Etc, etc, etc

Spiff tasted freedom
But will know only the collar
In my hands
To some I may be
A Stalinist
I now call it smart
No second chance
For you, Spiff

Damn dog
You had your fun
It was a long run
Thankfully no sun
Neither of us
Got anything
But our feelings hurt
I'm used to that
And I don't think
He even cares.