[Newspoetry] Elian Gonzalez Killed by Crayon

[Joe Futrelle]

Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station, Antarctica (Associated Poets):

Elian Gonzalez died today after eating a "burnt sienna"-colored
Crayola crayon containing dangerous levels of asbestos.  Elian
Gonzalez's father is reportedly distraught, though he has not spoken
to the press.  Reports of a suicide note scrawled in crayon have not
surfaced or been substantiated.

This all took place far north of here in the United States, which is
enjoying lovely summer weather this week and is not a vast plain of
ice shrouded in darkness and constant 60-degree-below-zero
temperatures with hundred-degree-below-zero wind chill factors.

Fidel Castro was quick to denounce Crayola as a capitalist
organization intent on amassing profits for elites by pandering to a
bourgeois consumer class at the expense of exploited workers.  He
added that this does not make it different from any other company in a
capitalist economy.

He also had a personal message for Time magazine columnist Lance
Morrow, who he said should keep his embarrassing, masturbatory
pro-capitalist fantasies to himself rather than publishing them to be
read by millions of people.
<http://www.time.com/time/daily/0,2960,43586,00.html>

Cuba's weather continues to be downright tropical, with deciduous
vegetation and liquid water ubiquitous.  I don't think it even ever
snows there, much less remains completely covered in snow for months
and years on end.

--
Joe Futrelle
Editor-within-chief,
Newspoetry dot com