[Newspoetry] Secession!

[Anne Bargar]

203 E. Oregon Seceeds From Union

AP (Associated Poets)

This afternoon, the four residents of 203 E. Oregon declared themselves to
no longer be a part of the United States.  "We've been listening to
election results for four nights straight and we're sick of it," they said
in a joint statement.  "We feel that our best option is simply to leave
the union altogether.  After all, we all voted for Nader."

When asked how they plan on dealing with such issues as garbage collection
and feeding themselves, as well as the possibility that they might find
themselves faced by Feds with Guns, they simply gave a collective shrug.
"We realize that we have a lot to deal with.  We will be dealing with
these issues one at a time, in a fashion that everyone can agree to.  When
we figure it out, we shall let Wednesday know, and she will discuss the
matter as is prudent in her newly appointed position as Ambassador to
The Neighbor's Basement."

"When we have determined how our basic needs will be met, we shall then
set about writting a national anthem, designing a flag, and setting
up an intricate intelligence network," they said.  

It does appear, however, that strife is looming just underneath the
surface.  Questions as to the political stability of the unit have been
raised.  And there have reportedly been heated arguments over which
animal, cat or newt, will be the official mascot.  And there are some
doubts about appointing the cat to be a major link with the outside world.  
"Well, this is to be expected.  We're new at this, so we're gonna have
some problems sorting all of this out," one resident said under conditions
of anonnymity.  "And Wednesday is very good at communicating sophisticated
ideas to complete strangers, so we have little to fear there."

When asked if the residents of 203 were completely insane, the resident in
question said, "Well, yes.  But don't tell anyone else I said that.  it's
an official state secret."