[Newspoetry] (no subject)

[Anne Bargar]

The Roving Cultural Review From West Central Ohio, Deep In The Heart Of
French Territory Circa 1750

Quincy, Ohio AP (Associated Poets)  My brother, his wife, and myself are
all "railroading," an activity undertaken by central-Ohio based railroad
fans which often involves staying out all night watching trains and
arguing over engine model numbers.  Tonight we are having more of a
"dinner by the railroad tracks" - chain pizza, ice cream, bottled
beverages.  We forgo the traditional all night event.  (Said outings
usually found said reviewer asleep in said back of said car.)
	Although the dinning accommodations - a 1999 Saturn station wagon
- were a bit confining, the alternative was being eaten alive by
unidentified flying insects.  We thus ate our lackluster pizza in relative
comfort.  The ambiance, however, was perfectly silly.
Our evening included the observation of 6 trains, five at the intersection
of choice and one from a bridge outside of Quincy.  The first one was a
westbound on the CSX line which our resident "expert" identified as a
conventional cab SD60 followed by an SD40.  The second train was
identified as a "cow calf," although my brother later retracted that
statement when he actually had to define what that meant.  It was a
ballast train (hoppers that are specifically designed to haul gravel),
pulled by a GP38-2 followed by a GP38 road slug.  This train happened
through as we procured our second course - ice cream - from the store big
enough for 4 people to stand in.  This store rents videos and sells
health-free food; it's vending machine contained 5 bags of potato chips
and 2 rolls of Lifesavers.  
	Our third train was a GE-9 and an SD45 with original GM&0 hopper
cars.  ADM cars and graffiti both seem to be "in" this year, as proven by
2 out of 3 trains observed on this particular evening thus far.  At 8:15
the reviewer belched, and my brother was quoted as saying, "That there was
even a train moving on the CSX line was rather remarkable indeed."
	The fourth train was a southbound on the Indiana and Ohio
(formerly the DT&I).  It was pulled by a GP40-2 (formerly L&N) which was
burgundy and white.  At this point the author, having exited the Saturn,
found themselves being bitten by insects and returned henceforth to the
sanctity to be found therein.  
	At which point it was decided that darkness and fatigue were
taking over, and we decided to depart for home.  It was at this time that
we saw the last train inside of Quincy proper.  As we left, a C40-8 and
SD40 combination crept up on us and held us hostage for another five
minutes.  At this point we headed home, tired from an exciting evening of
watching trains.  My brother makes sure that I have every model number
written down correctly, so that my report might be as accurate as
possible.  We discuss the possible cultural impact of the railroading
report on Newspoets, as there is a good chance that no one will know what
we're talking about.  Come to think of it, I don't really know what I'm
talking about.   My brother seems to know what he's talking about, and I
don't know enough to know if he knows what he's talking about or not.   As
we sit on a bridge to watch the last train headed through Quincy that
evening, we debate these topics and hope that no one flies around a corner
and rear-ends us.  We discuss our plans to go to the dump the next morning
as we head home.  Overall, I would rate the evening very highly, say 15 on
a scale of 2, mostly because I get to hang out with Bruce and Polly only
once or twice a year, and this was one of those times.  Rail fandom seems
to dwarf other types of fandom, making them seem less embarrassing.
	Random factoid: Todd says that if you smear your face with eggs
before entering a protest where you're likely to get tear-gassed, the tear
gas will bond with the proteins in the eggs and help protect you from the
gas.  If you can stand to do it, that is.  His organic chemistry prof told
him that.  

The author apologizes for the extremely late submission of this poem.  She
blames computer difficulties, and hopes that it provides a break from
Post-Election News Addiction Disorder.