[Newspoetry] headlines

[Anne Bargar]

Negotiators Sleep Through Union Talks;
Round Two of Mid-Afternoon Talks Scheduled For Tommorrow

Stupid Money-Wasting Defense System Averted For Now;
Pentagon Confused

Plot To Keep Weirdos and Oddballs From High School Reunion Fails
Interesting, Uninvited Attendees Figured Event Would Be Lame But Went
Anyway

George W. Bush Wants Presidency "Real Bad"
"If I Don't win, I'm Going To Hold My Breath Until I Turn Blue," Says
Presidential Candidate

"Populist, My Ass!" Declares Cranky Veteran Journalist; 
"If Gores a Populaist, Then I'm A Really Nice Person."

Infinitive Splits, Runs Off With Double Negative
Palindrome Files For Legal Separation

Then And Dammit, or With Therefore About?
Nouns, Verbs, Sentence Structure Needed To Complete Thought