[Newspoetry] song ideas!!--need quick turnaround! (fwd)

[Paul Kotheimer]

hello prince myshkins and NewsPoets!

S26 actions here in shampoo-banana have underscored the need for two new
songs, both of which i've started on and would LOVE your collaboration in
finishing.

--deadline:  October 7th.


1.  FREE TRADE CHICKEN:  a skit was created in which someone in a butcher
costume offers a mess of smelly gelatanous goop to passers-by, hawking it
as the "poultry of the future"--a genetically modified organic foodstuff
which doesn't bother with bones, feet, or beaks.

there needs to be a song called "Free Trade Chicken," to the tune of (you
guessed it)--"Rubber Duckie."  (insert muppet Ernie laugh here).  and of
course the PM's would ideally play the part of Bert and Ernie.  or Beaker
and Scooter in the Mad Scientist Skit from the Muppet Show.  imagine also
a KFC chicken bucket (with the red and white stripes and
everything)--modified to say instead (of course) FTC.  instead of the
colonel, it's the Monopoly Man from the board game MONOPOLY.

I have the first draft of a couple of verses, i think:

Free Trade Chicken's a delicacy
of maximized profitaBILity
Free Trade Chicken has been USDA approved 
--despite objections.

Free Trade Chickens look a little strange
No beaks or feet so that they can't free range...
No bones about 'em--anaTOMically improved
--and they taste just like chicken.

{i envision that the bridge should be about the laboratory in which they
were created..

{then a third verse with an egregious rhyme on the word "vegetarian,"
maybe..

{and then the ending should be:...

Free Trade Chicken, i'm so awfully fond of
Free Trade Chicken, we don't know what it's spawned of, but--
Free Trade Chicken, gonna feed tout le monde on you

******
{i'm not crazy about the french (and i don't know if the spelling's
correct) but it's a clever ending flourish.  i'm sure you could concoct
something better, and feel free to genetically modify anything i have
already written.}

2.  BILLIONAIRES FOR BUSH OR GORE WALTZ:  This is a little piece of art
song from the drawing rooms of the elite american class.  It's meant to be
sung by an authentic operatic diva (preferably large) in pink taffeta or
perhaps a tasteful black velvet, elbow length gloves, pearls, etc.,
accompanied by a bultler holding a jambox (on which will play the piano
accompaniment.)

the chords are like so:

|| Ab / / | Ab / / | Eb / / | Eb / / |

|Eb7 / / | Eb7 / / | Ab / / | Ab / / |

| Ab / / | Adim / / | Bbm / / | Bbdim / / |

| Ab / / | Eb7 / / | Ab / / | Ab / / ||

and the words, so far, are:

We are the ||BIL- / -lion- |AIRES / for | BUSH / or | GORE, / and|

|WE / don't  |CARE which one | YOU /  vote | FOR. /   A million| 

|HERE, .  a million | THERE, and we've | GOT / our | WAY, / long be-|

|FORE / e- |LEC- / -tion |DAY / / | / / / ||


[downbeat syllables in ALLCAPS.]  


{then a final verse in progress is something like:

The medi-||A'S un-der | OUR / com- |PLETE con- |TROL / and so are|

|YOU, / so | SAYS this o- |PIN- / -ion | POLL, / so just sit |

|BACK / and watch us | WIN on your |CA-ble tee- |Vee / that's what we|

|CALL / de- |MOC- / -ra- |-CY / / | / / / ||

{i think it needs a second verse and maybe a short bridge or something.
there should be some expicit mention of the one-party nature of the
two-party system, perhaps with a spin on the pun, "the COCKTAIL Party..."
--i dunno.

now get to work.

love paul.
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