[Newspoetry] Newspoem: "Tim Johnson, Are You Reading This?"

[John Wason]

[For those of you reading this who may not be from Illinois, Tim Johnson was
elected last November to the U.S. House of Representatives.  Prior to that
he was an Illinois legislator for a number of years.]


Tim Johnson, Are You Reading This?
by John Wason


One Saturday during the lunch rush
U.S. Representative Tim Johnson from Illinois
(for those of you who may be reading this 
  from far away in space or time)
was in the Champaign Steak and Shake
pressing the flesh as he always does
and does so well.

He came up to my table
And somehow the conversation turned
to the budget "surplus".

"If there is indeed a surplus," I said,
"which I believe is illusory,
  or temporary at best,
  I think we should use it
  to pay off the national debt first
  and sustain Social Security and Medicare
  before we give immense tax rebates
  to the wealthiest one per cent."

"We can do it all," Tim said.
"We can pay off the national debt,
  maintain Social Security and Medicare,
  AND give out the rebates."

"Well, I'm not so sure," I replied.
"In any event, I think we should pay off 
  the national debt first
  and then see what we have left."

"No, we can do it all," Tim asserted.
"I've seen the figures, and I know."

"Well, I'm not convinced," I rejoined once more
 (not having the figures in front of me).
"I guess I'll believe it when I see it."


Now comes the good part.

"I'VE TOLD YOU THREE TIMES," Tim shouted
right there in the Steak and Shake,
his gaunt face turning crimson,
"THAT WE CAN DO IT ALL!"

I just shrugged
and Tim moved on
to press more flesh.

But I was there
and I witnessed what happened
I swear to God
I shit you not

and when I die
(if I weren't planning to be cremated)
I'd want on my tombstone
as my epitaph
"I once made Tim Johnson shout."

I know it ain't much
but it's all I've got.