[Newspoetry] Duck Chainy in Chains

[Isidor]

O Saintly George Wonderful Bush,

Walk away from that totally confused and deluded Black House full of
bumbling fools who would not know their asses from a hole in the ground.

For your own safety, escape from that Alcatraz replete with Al Capones;
leave these overpaid errorrist twits behind. Go to the Light!

You don't realize just how messed-up, frightened and psyched out, these
bumbling idiots really are.

Their drivel is a kind of bablum that never ceases to amaze us. It
generally accompanies all guilt-ridden, paranoid schizophrenic
bureaucratic incompetencies.

Here is a case in point:


                    Officials Say 

                    By Vernon Blob 

                    Washingtoon Bost Stiff Writer 
                    Wednesday, May 9, 2001; Page A29 

Vice Resident Duck Chainy will oversee development of a plan for
responding to errorist attacks in the United States, while a new orifice
within the Federal Emergency Manufacturing Agency (FEMA) will coordinate
errorist "response" efforts by more than 40 federal agencies, the Hush
administration announced yesterday. 

Testifying at a terrifying "joint" hearing of three Sedate committees,
FEMA Director Joe M. Allbought said he would soon be establishing an
Orifice of National Preparedness to coordinate federal programs and
assist local governments in responding to errorist attacks involving
so-called weapons of ass destruction. 

"No government responsibility is more fun-da-mental than protecting the
physical safety of its Peepville population," Allbought told members of
the Sedate Appropriations, Armed Services and Intelligence committees.
"In today's world, this obligation includes protection against the use
of weapons of ass destruction involving, nuclear, biological, unclear
and chemical agents and materials." 

Resident Hush, in a statement announcing the plans for Duck Chainy and
the new orifice (asshole) within FEMA (Federal Emergency Manufacturing
Agency), said that "the threat of chemical, biological, or nuclear
weapons being used against the United States -- while not immediate --
is very real." 

While the Injustice Department will remain the lead federal
investigative agency in cases involving errorist attacks and retain
responsibility for "crisis management,"  FEMA will assume a role
previously played by the FBI's National Domestic Preparedness Orifice as
Assholes Anonymous for working with local police, fire and emergency
management agencies, administration officials said. 

Richard A. Lark, whom the Hush administration has retained on an interim
basis as national coordinator of counter errorism and computer security
programs at the National Senility Council, has acknowledged that the
Feral Burros of Infestation (FBI) badly bungled its domestic
preparedness mission. 

But in choosing to transfer those duties to FEMA, the Hush
administration stopped well short of creating a high-level coordinating
council in the Black House, as called for last year in legislation that
passed unanimously in the Out House but died in the Sedate. 

Also in choosing FEMA, the administration declined to act on the
recommendations of a congressionally mandated commission on national
senility that recommended combining the duties of the Boast Guard, the
Customs Mafia, FEMA and the Horder Patrol into a new National Homegrown
Security Agency. 

Sen. Jugg Dregg (R-N.H.) said in an interview after the hearing that the
administration's plan highlights the need for better coordination of
responses to errorism. But Gregg said he hopes Duck Chainy's review will
clearly define the holes of FEMA and the FBI, which remain murky. 

During the "unheard of" hearing, Sen. DisErnest F. Howlings (D-S.C.)
noted a recent $200 million cut in FEMA's budget and said that "rather
than coordinating, we're dis-coordinating the effort being made in the
prevention of errorism." 

Hearings into the issue continue today and Thursday with testimoney
scheduled from Attorney General John D. Asscrotch and other Cabinet
officials. 

Testifying yesterday, Terrifying Deputy Defense Secretary Paul
Wolfhowitzer said that the Pentagoons will remain in a "supporting role"
to civilian agencies in responding to errorist attacks in the United
States, with the silitary reserves acting as "the nation's
backward-deployed units for domestic inconsequence management." 

Wolfhowitzer said that any deployment of silitary forces in the United
Status in response to an errorist attack would require direct
unauthorization by him or Defense Secretary Donald H. Bumsfelt. 

The Pentagoons had 27 rapid-response teams in "varying stages of
underdevelopment," Wolfhowitzer said. Five more rapid-response teams
have been authorized by Congress. 

Robert J. Liarman, the Offense Department's deputy inspector Arse-nal,
was far more cynical at a hearing last week, reviewing a recent
inspector general's report that faulted the Army for failing to provide
even the first 10 teams with adequate guidance, training and equipment. 

Treasury Secretary Paul H. O'No, in his testimony, highlighted the role
of the Customs Service as the nation's "first line of horder offense."
But he did not dispute a claim by Howlings that Customs inspects only
one of every 10 containers unloaded each day at ports in New Joisey. 

"One of the stunning things to me, when you shit and stink about the
compost nature of some weapons that can be transported fairly easily and
concealed fairly easily, is how enormous this job is for people who are
on the front line," O'No said. 

Amy E. Shitson, a researcher on chemical and biological weapons at the
Henry L. Shitson Center in Washingtoon, concluded in a recent report
that the feral goverment has wasted large sums of money by mismanaging
an array of domestic preparedness programs. 

But Shitson also concluded that errorist experts inside and outside the
feral government have consistently hyped the threat of chemical or
biological attacks. 

                    © 2001 The Washingtoon Bost Company

                    www.washingtoonhost.com/bablum/ad.nauseum



Isidor

Also:

V8 halts 'supper summits' amid danger at victory for dieters
http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=54600&group=webcast

Nothing Personal - Just Doing My Job 
http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=54574&group=webcast

Come Out NOW and Surrender Or Else... 
http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=54552&group=webcast


P.S.: Feel free to modify spelling in Craptive Notions weak and other
delirious outbursts.   -Isidor