[Newspoetry] Le Car vs. Chirac

[Editor-Within-Chief]

PARIS, FRANCE (Associated Poets) -- "Le Car" today narrowly beat out Prime 
Minister Lionel Jospin to qualify for a runoff for French president with 
the current one.  Le Car's showing was a major upset for Jospin, who was 
widely expected to do better because, among other things, he is a human 
being rather than a brand of car.

But Le Car has clearly struck a chord with French voters, who regard the 
two major candidates as too old, too familiar, too similar, and too 
human.  Jospin and Chirac are widely seen as getting poor gas mileage and 
having too narrow a wheelbase for their height, increasing the risk of 
rolling over in an accident.  In contrast, Le Car's subcompact chassis and 
lack of expensive standard features are hailed by proponents of no-nonsense 
government.

However, Le Car's extreme right-wing views are a lightning rod for 
criticism from middle and left voters, who are concerned about its bumper 
sticker that reads "The Holocaust? -- Details, Details".  Its lack of a car 
alarm, however, undermines its reputation as a law and order candidate, 
something that voters concerned about crime seem to have overlooked.

Chirac, for all the hand-wringing that Le Car's showing has occasioned, 
remains solemnly confident.  "I am certain that in a race with Le Car, I, 
like virtually any late-model vehicle, will win," he said this afternoon in 
a brief statement.


--
Joe Futrelle
editor-within-chief
http://www.newspoetry.com/