[Newspoetry] How To Deal With Those Pesky Liberals

[Donald L Emerick]

Dear Mike...

The Coulter "argument" reminds me of the one that was shoved in my face last
summer when I was (foolishly) wasting words in some vain argument in the New
York Times Talk Show (the Abuzz forum) --- or in some commentary column
attaching to one of the OpEd writers.  In any event, the "argument" that was
rammed at me was just this, regarding people who oppose the American way of
(violent) life (or something like that):

"If you meet a liberal college student and if he doesn't see that he is
wrong to oppose violence, then punch him in the face.  When he gets up, ask
him if he still opposes violence.  If he says 'Yes,' then punch him in the
face again.  Repeat application as many times as message until argument is
won."

What could I possibly say to that kind of idea of reason?  You see, their
"argument" is that if you are not blindly willing to go out and just kill
hate and whoever opposes "America," then you are just as bad as the people
that "America" wants to hate and kill and if you are just as bad as the guys
over there that we want to kill, then we ought to kill you, too, while we
are busy hating and killing the "enemies" of "America."  This argument is
always victorious as long as you have sole and undisputed possession of some
big gun like "America.'"

Let's hear it for their USA!  (A place that would make Hitler's Nazidom look
like a PleasureDome for Jews.  {"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a Stately
PleasureDome decree..."})

If you ever get a chance to get a word of reason in edgewise, like a foot in
the door, you might mention to people like Miss Coulter that her reasoning
appears to be structurally indistinguishable from the same arguments that
Osama Bin Laden uses.  It is thus clear that she only pretends to love
"America" to hide her hateful speech toward other "foreign" ways of life.
Therefore, it is also quite obvious that she is a Talibanian.  She therefore
ought to turn herself in at Camp X-Ray before we have to come in with
storm-troopers and take her into custody by force.  And tell her not to
bother to pack for a long stay, because we'll arrange for the firing squads
to replace the secret military tribunals, to save the real costs of any
trial, or the possibility of any appeal from Texas-style lynch mob
"justice".

So, I now announce, under President Bush :"Hate Speech is now the
Politically Correct Lingua Franca Du Jour" -- or else, "It's OK to hate
everyone again."  Nation-building is out, pogroms are soon to be in.  Don't
miss the spring season's new fashions: white hooded sheets for all true
Americans, burning crosses to light the American way.

Let's hear it for the USA.

Sighs won't be loud enough, even tears don't fall like dew.

As some of you may know, I borrow Biblical thematica (theothematica) because
those guys really knew how to sling the religious rhetoric at pious
hypocrites and self-proclaimed sanctity.

I think the way to beat Coulter's anti-Americanism is to out-love America --
but be sure to identify loudly and clearly which America it is that you
love -- for you surely could not love that sanctimonious hate-filled America
that Ms. Coulter seems to love.

Anyway, Jeremiah might be a good rhetorical reading for thundering back at
Coulter.  Actually, to my mind, any of the anti-establishmentarians known as
the Prophets would probably also do for usable quotations -- for the
Prophets were just the Liberal College Students (structural equivalency, you
see) of their own age.  [If you really want to have some mind-games, you can
talk about some of the fights some of the prophets had with the
high-muck-a-mucks who crowded around the King, like the rightwing flies who
are buzzing around the elephantine asshole who is Bush.]

Let's hear it for the USA.

Thanks for listening.
Donald L Emerick