[Newspoetry] poem, yet another

[Anne Bargar]

	Local Salamander Celebrates Birthday, Accomplishments
	
	Mr. Big has, against all expectations, celebrated his 15th
birthday this month.  In commemoration of this milestone, he has received
a stick to add to his growing list of aquarium paraphernalia.  After
feasting on salamander pellets, he was presented with the stick, which
measures about 12 inches, at around 1 AM CST.  He responded by backing
under a rock.  This morning, however, Mr. Big was spotted near the stick.
This is not unlike the enthusiasm he showed upon reception of his potted
plant; in that case, he was placed in the pot under the leaves and stayed
there for a day.  He also showed great vigor during his dance party last
year, as he cruised around the cage amid great showings of affection.

	For those unfamiliar with Mr. Big, he is an Oregon Firebelly Newt.
He has been a treasured companion of Your Aunt Barbara for 15 years now.
Although he calls a 10-gallon aquarium home, he has a long and enviable
list of accomplishments.  He has written poems and a yet-unpublished
manifesto, flown over Mt. Everest in a blimp, served as mascot and
spokesnewt for the Peoples Republic of 203, worked as a train engineer,
and invented both gravity and the internet.