[Newspoetry] Re: Your Web Site Performance Report

[Donald L Emerick]

One or Two (or more) Languages and their Problems
(Drivel or Driven -- choose L or N -- for drool or droon.)

Kane Bender provided the factotum message of the day.
La parole (oleo, oh, Leo!) du jour journalisticalifragilism,
speak-easy, sprechen-sie-Francais-du-tout, for me, too,
"Maken der speak-easier sprechen-beau-coup-booty",
Says he in lieu of loot in view, rooting root beer roue.

Cane bender -- how likely a real person is he, he-he-he?
I liked Milo FenderBender better, but he's never at home
On the range of a lone prairie kitchen's stove-pipe league.
Did I say we were serving some boiling water soup today,
Chowder or stew -- what counts as running inside you?

What vigorously runs inside you runs outside you, too?
How would any machine gun figure it out on fat fingers
That act like digits, poking and prying into joking, trying
To say that only the count matters and not what counts,
Which could be, strangely, me or you; madder matters.

"Mutter muddy muter moods," nudges nutty neuter nude.
"Mutatis mutandi, potator putandi, I'll have spumoni, too."
Spew money!  Spew on Monday to Friday -- WeekEnds, too.
Spew your money wisely, spew it wheneverywhere you go,
"24/7/365/10**n..." spew it, as daynight spews up on you.

WeakEnds is no football scout, reporting on another team,
And GoodHands is no basketball tournament player profile.
"Such Players-of-the-Weak," say dumb prayers for the meek,
Who shall inherit the Earth, or what will ever then be left of it,
"do not deserve a 'Very best' that elecherous electurers leave."

Where're those problems you promised us that you'd identify?
Casual or careless, one loosy-goosy, goody-two-shoed, show
Me the problem, or show me the money, or show me the door.
Shaman Bin Laden's Sherman tanks shadow a shaking floor,
Shall I shell his seashells, artistically, by punctuating artillery?

How could you end something that never should have begun?
Isn't that the sticking point, the one that counts purrformance
When performance is supposed to count alone, all by itself?
How could you end a war or a measure when neither ends,
Without distorting the pre-existing inclination to destruction?

Thanks for listening,
Donald L Emerick