[Newspoetry] weather

[Editor-Within-Chief]

weather

Overnight: Cumbre Vieja, La Palma, will erupt and the west side of the 
island will collapse into the Atlantic ocean, creating a 1,500 foot tall 
tsunami which will destroy the entire Eastern seaboard of the U.S. eight 
hours later.  Wet.  East coast residents should get in a car and drive west 
as fast as possible, ignoring traffic laws and speed limits.

Tomorrow: Yellowstone park, which is sitting on top of a gigantic reservoir 
of magma, will explode and blanket the entire earth in ash, ushering in a 
new ice age as temperatures drop more than 5 degrees 
worldwide.  Cold.  Make sure to bundle up.

Saturday: An asteroid or comet will impact the earth, triggering a gigantic 
shock wave, huge earthquakes and enormous tsunamis, and covering the world 
in debris.  Clear early, then partly ashy, then completely ashy.  Wet with 
flooding in coastal areas.  Turning very cold.

Sunday: A nearby supermassive star will collapse into a black hole, 
generating a massive burst of gamma and cosmic rays that will burn and 
irradiate virtually every living thing on earth, leaving little if no 
life.  Ashy and cold early, then changing to clear and extremely hot with 
shock waves.  Wear powerful supernova screen and supernovaglasses, 
preferably a lead bunker.


--
Joe Futrelle
editor-within-chief
http://www.newspoetry.com/