[Newspoetry] NEWSPOEM --Race too close to call, called off

[Newton Bigelow]

That should read "incumbent candidates", obviously.  My apologies.

Quoting Newton Bigelow :
> Race Too Close to Call, Called Off
> 
> Dateline Madrid --
> 
> In stunning move today, the United States Electoral Department, citing the extremecloseness of most of the state and local races across the country, moved to canceltoday's elections.
> 
> "It's just too hard," lamented Mark Welby, Assistant Secretary for Sophistry, "Thisthing's split right down the middle, and with the margin of error being whatit is, there's no way we'll ever figure out the real winners.  So rather thango through the time and expense of tabulating  and retabulating the electionresults, we've decided to just call the damn thing off."
> 
> Although some isolated members of the electorate were upset at the decision, asa whole they expressed relief.  When asked for a statement, the General OverviewOf National Sentiment responded, "Look, it's cold and rainy outside.  If theelection is too close to call, why not forget it and stay home?  Our sinusesare acting up anyway."
> 
> Predictably, incumbent canditates were thrilled at today's decision.  Challengers,surprisingly, were also generally positive. "Let's put it this way," explainedTom Roadkill, who until today was the favorite in his state's senatorial election,"Sure, it'd be nice to go to the senate and lap up some of that conflict-of-interestmoney, but when it comes right down to it, my dogs are tired and there's a brand-newseason of 'Twenty-Four' to watch."
> 
> Democracy, which has been unavailable for comment for quite some time now, continuedto ignore all requests for an interview. 
> 
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> Newton
> 
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> Best regards,
> 
> Newton
> 
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------This E-mail was sent through Albawaba E-mail. Get your own at mail.albawaba.comBest regards,

Newton

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