[Newspoetry] Fw: Heaviest Element Known to Science

[Donald L Emerick]

----- Original Message ----- 
From: Linda M Hess 
To: list of select persons removed for privacy reasons
Sent: Monday, January 27, 2003 12:15 PM
Subject: Fw: Heaviest Element Known to Science


Subject: Heaviest Element Known to Science

A major institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element known to science.  This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium."

Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 72 deputy neutrons, and 216 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic weight of 301.  These 301 particles are held together by a weak force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of nimron-like particles called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, the element is inert.  However, it can be easily detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.  For example, a minute amount of Administratium causes a single reaction to take over five days to complete, while under normal circumstances the reaction would take less than a second.

Administratium has a half-life of four years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a periodic reorganization.  In fact, the mass of Administratium will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, creating new isodopes of the element.  This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever the concentration of morons reaches a threshold quantity.  This as yet hypothetical quantity if referred to as a "critical morass."  

One will know it when one sees it! 

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