[Newspoetry] Charlie Rose disappears into black hole

[Joe Futrelle]

OUTER SPACE (Associated Poets):

PBS talk show host Charlie Rose perished tonight after apparently 
venturing beyond the event horizon of a black hole located on the set 
of his somewhat popular late-night television program.

Scientists have known for some time that the oak table at which Mr. 
Rose and his guests sat is close to the edge of a black hole, from 
which no light, not even the glaring studio lights of a television 
studio, can escape. This is not the first time the hole has swallowed 
matter from the set; the original backdrop of bookshelves and potted 
palms was swallowed up by the black hole in the 1990's, causing a 
powerful burst of gamma rays which damaged the television cameras in 
the studio.

But in this case it was Mr. Rose who had the misfortune of stepping 
over the event horizon, which staffers have carefully marked with 
gaffer's tape. Apparently Mr. Rose pushed his chair too far back after 
the taping of a segment with film director Oliver Stone, and vanished 
into oblivion.

Ominously, his last words were "we'll be right back."

--
Joe Futrelle
person