[Newspoetry] Spoof and Truth

[DL Emerick]

STOP THE NEWSPOETRY PRESSES!!!!

Yes, dear readers,
we stopped our giant run,
costing us untold millions,
just so we could observe
the prime tenets of newspoetry,
our ethical inheritance,
what makes us different
from every other blog
purporting to be newspoetry.

We planned to run as our lead
the story of the true Bush,
who holds phones to his ear,
upside down, and does not notice.

But, our senior correspondent,
John Newmark quickly detected a spoof.
This can't be true, he said,
and sure enough, he found
snopes.com carried the truth:
the White House manages all news,
especially photo op shots in WH.

No picture like that was ever taken,
it's a fraud, a doctored thing.

Senior WH spokesperson said:
Look we don't let pictures like that
leave the WH, we confiscate them.

Why Bush has even held
a staple gun to his ear,
and wondered why no one was talking.

There are no pictures of that,
we cover his hideous ass,
so you never get to see it.

We only want the world
to think well of Bush --
and we tell every reporter here,
look if you make him look real,
I mean, er, bad,
then you won't get to come here,
no more press conferences for you,
and certainly no more Air Force 1 rides.

You'll be out of work,
unable to talk to anyone,
here in WhiteWash DC.

He grinned sardonically,
and, by the way,
I didn't say any of this.