[Newspoetry] Target Practice: learning to shop in discount stories

[DL Emerick]

Cheney shoots Buddy while out hunting:
Spins given by the Cheney Defense Fund.
 
Guns don't kill people, people do.
Second Amendment says I can keep my gun,
the NRA says fire away: hunting is the reason
we can keep and bear our arms in hunting season!
It seems clear to me that nobody was killed here,
and that, even if they had been, it was an accident.
 
Collateral damages are inevitable in scenes of shooting,
such as happens when we wage war or go hunting:
it's why we aim to shoot that matters,
not what we may aim to hit and destroy,
for destruction is what is surely our aim.
 
We made an assumption of the risk of hunting,
shared by all hunters equally, in the hunting party,
so if the risk materializes, as in this accident,
we are equally insured against any liability:
there, but for the grace of shooting first, go I.
 
There are no innocent by-standers in hunting --
we'd all be most equally guilty, otherwise,
of a conspiracy, to form a chance suicide pact,
or to perform a Texas version of Russian Roulette,
where Big Wheels of Fortune 500 keep on spinning,
in the revolving chambers ever locked and loaded.
 
Bush pardoned me, expressly and immediately,
because I again threatened to expose him
as the two-bit tin-horn dictator that he is.
Well, actually, he's just the flunky of such:
make no mistake about it, this rule of law:
les etats c'est moi, Sherriff of Dodge County,
for I dance and dodge all counts of indictments:
I am the Law, West of the Pecos, and East of it, too,
and, as I am the Law, I am above the Law, too,
a truth only possible in certain top-AP-ologies.
 
It's not an impeachable offense:
precedence says this most clearly --
the Constitution doesn't punish shootings
of Vice Presidents of their friends or enemies,
anymore than it did when Burr shot Hamilton,
though that was a duel between opponents.
 
(See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5425100/site/newsweek/
for a fine case of NewsPoetry in the MainStream Media Outlets.)
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