[Newspoetry] Target Practice: learning to shop in discount stories

[Marcus Bales]

Higgledy piggledy
Richard B Cheney
While hunting for quail on the
Old Armstrong place,
Tracking a bird, swung, and 
Vice-presidentially,
Blasted a friend of his
Right in the face.

"Ambulance! Ambulance!"
Richard B. Cheney
Repeated as somebody
Bled where he sat
Prey to Republican
Inhospitality
Was he a terrorist
Or just a Democrat?

Luckily luckily
Richard B Cheney's
Security detail has
Medics on staff
And, since the guy is an
Ultraconservative,
All that he'll say is "It 
Hurts when I laugh".

Remington Remington
Richard B Cheney
Has shot a Republican
Very fat cat;
Cheney is sorry but
Self-justifyingly
Thinks "I'd have missed if
He wasn't so fat."

Wriggley wriggley
Richard B Cheney:
"Executive privilege!"
SCOTUS: "Concur!"
After all, Hamilton
Inconsequentially
Died when gunned down by
Vice President Burr.

Coverup coverup
Richard B Cheney
For twenty-four hours would
Not say a word,
And none of the media
Characterisitcally
Gave us the skinny: did
Dick get the bird?



On 13 Feb 2006 at 15:01, DL Emerick wrote:

> Cheney shoots Buddy while out hunting:
> Spins given by the Cheney Defense Fund.
> 
> Guns don't kill people, people do.
> Second Amendment says I can keep my gun,
> the NRA says fire away: hunting is the reason
> we can keep and bear our arms in hunting season!
> It seems clear to me that nobody was killed here,
> and that, even if they had been, it was an accident.
> 
> Collateral damages are inevitable in scenes of shooting,
> such as happens when we wage war or go hunting:
> it's why we aim to shoot that matters,
> not what we may aim to hit and destroy,
> for destruction is what is surely our aim.
> 
> We made an assumption of the risk of hunting,
> shared by all hunters equally, in the hunting party,
> so if the risk materializes, as in this accident,
> we are equally insured against any liability:
> there, but for the grace of shooting first, go I.
> 
> There are no innocent by-standers in hunting --
> we'd all be most equally guilty, otherwise,
> of a conspiracy, to form a chance suicide pact,
> or to perform a Texas version of Russian Roulette,
> where Big Wheels of Fortune 500 keep on spinning,
> in the revolving chambers ever locked and loaded.
> 
> Bush pardoned me, expressly and immediately,
> because I again threatened to expose him
> as the two-bit tin-horn dictator that he is.
> Well, actually, he's just the flunky of such:
> make no mistake about it, this rule of law:
> les etats c'est moi, Sherriff of Dodge County,
> for I dance and dodge all counts of indictments:
> I am the Law, West of the Pecos, and East of it, too,
> and, as I am the Law, I am above the Law, too,
> a truth only possible in certain top-AP-ologies.
> 
> It's not an impeachable offense:
> precedence says this most clearly --
> the Constitution doesn't punish shootings
> of Vice Presidents of their friends or enemies,
> anymore than it did when Burr shot Hamilton,
> though that was a duel between opponents.
> 
> (See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5425100/site/newsweek/
> for a fine case of NewsPoetry in the MainStream Media Outlets.)
>