[Newspoetry] Kickin' with Senator Larry Craig

[DL Emerick]

Water-Closet Conservatives' Commode Commentaries 

Senator Craig:
"I hadn't a leg to stand on, miss,
Nor any pot in which to piss,
I spread my legs wide, sitting there,
So my pants fall not to the floor,
My shoe may even bump yours next door,
But you know I am not some whore.
Sure, I reached beneath the wall
To pick up tissue after its fall,
For who would leave the place a mess?
I'm quite innocent of gayness."

An Officer:
"Visiting a restroom is no crime,
Nor making signals public slime,
Unless it happens when we watch,
For public places are temples match,
And pure and simple you must be,
If in public privy you pee.
You, Senator, liaison sought --
That is clearly why you were caught.
Make of that arrest what you please:
But confess intent, on your knees."

The Idaho Statesman:
"Were it only once an event,
We might say nothing's important.
But, here, there are so many tales,
Of which this one, too, now regales.
We care less about your sex-life,
Of what you do without your wife,
But we do care about your law.
When you disobey, it's a flaw,
That you both praise and pass such bill,
With no justice in your ill will."