[Newspoetry] Congressional Committees to Upgrade Oversight Investigative Techniques

[DL Emerick]

Congressional Committees to Upgrade Oversight Investigative Techniques

Washington DC, NPI -- Based on (so-called) legal precedents, which is to say
the bizarre ideas promoted by the Bush Administration, see
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/100407J.shtml for details, the Congress
has firmly decided to adopt a more aggressive set of interrogation
techniques, despite grave doubts as to their human decency.

Those who are subpoenaed for future testimony before the Committees will
find that interrogation will routinely include "slaps to the head; hours
held naked in a frigid cell; days and nights without sleep while battered by
thundering rock music; long periods manacled in stress positions; or the
ultimate, waterboarding."  Such techniques may sound harsh but, with
recalcitrant Bush officials, they may provide the only "known" methodology
for ensuring that threats to the American republic are uncovered and
derailed, preventatively and preemptively.

Some on the Hill think that such techniques will improve the numerous quaint
and curious lapses in memory of many of the officials in the Bush
(so-called) Administration.  Some even think the truth about Bush and his
criminal gang will finally be told.  They believe that evidence more than
sufficient to try all of the Bush gang as war criminals will result, and
that certainly more than enough will be found to warrant impeaching all of
the Bush gang and stripping them of their alleged immunities, by removing
their dens of iniquity (once called their public offices which they have
turned into private retreats), so that long overdue criminal prosecutions
may be pursued.

First to be tested under the new techniques will be Vice President Cheney,
concerning his multitudinous improbable statements, on almost any topic ever
debated before America in his lifetime.  This reporter, for one, believes
that Cheney will be a tough nut to crack, but the cracking, itself, will be
somewhat a pleasure to watch - if we accept some accounts that Cheney and/or
those most close to him have personally overseen some of the interrogations
by the methods now being adopted.

Who would have thought, after all this time, that sauce for the goose could
still be sauce for the gander, too?  Ah, yes, hoist them by their own
petards.  QV:
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/hoist%20by%20your%20own%20petard.html.

Critics of this Congressional move note that the "rules" for these new
techniques do not include Congressional self-scrutiny of the so-called
ethical lapses and breaches (aka crimes, when not euphemistically given) of
its own members -- a typical double-standard exemption that Congress
generally adopts, to protect, so it claims, our great representative
democracy.