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Mon Sep 28 13:31:41 CDT 2009

Pascal Procedures for Yvette and Jacques=20
. Inspecting Iraq
Yes, all of the government programs will now have,
in their hip pockets, little slips of WhitePapers, saying:
"Inspected by Number Nano-Nano-No-No-No-Nannettes..."
(Aside, to the prosecutor: "I said 'No' but he raped me, anyway...")
. Topics of the Times
(Temporal Topics?  Oh the Topics, Oh the Times...
what shall we do, what shall we ever do,
when no one reads to us, when all read through us?)

(Garbage trailer deleted.)

      Copyright 2002 The New York Times Company
      is hereby copy-violated in putatively parodic imitation
      of a public institution who thinks itself above laughter
      from the imaginary readership of Donald L Emerick.
      If any idiot imagines that this imitation could be mistaken
      for the real thing, qua its very own self, as if its own Mother
      might think a Substitute were the Prince and not a Pauper
      (you see, I am not The Pauper, nor a NewsPauper boy),
      then I shall be glad to recommend a pair of eye glasses
      and a sanity check and a sanitary sanity pad
      (to put between your ears, or behind them, or in them).
      T4L, DLE  (A MAN FOR ALL SEA-SONS AND SEA-ZONINGS)
     =20

=20

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<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><STRONG><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman" color=3D#990000>
<P><FONT size=3D3>To Every Season, Turn-Turn-Turnover A New Leaf ----- =
<BR>A Time=20
to Imitate; a Times to Refrain from Imitating?<BR>(Memoriam for =
Suppressing Free=20
Speech on Free Press)</FONT></P>28 NOVEMBER 2002</FONT></STRONG>
<HR SIZE=3D1>

<DIV> QUOTE OF THE DAY <FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">"His investigation should =
carefully&nbsp;dismiss all of=20
the evidence and follow none of the facts, wherever they=20
lead.</DIV>
<DIV>We must not cover any =
vital=20
detail nor learn any lesson from how I prepared for and =
handled&nbsp;September=20
the 11th." <A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/politics/28BUSH.html?todayshead=
lines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">PRESIDENT BUSH,</A><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&nbsp;naming Henry A. Kissinger to lead the =
investigation=20
into the attacks. </DIV>
<HR SIZE=3D1>

<DIV>NATIONAL <A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/health/28CRUI.html?todaysheadli=
nes">U.S.&nbsp;=20
War Officials Call Cruise Missiles Safe</A> Despite recent =
outbreaks of=20
local theater wars requiring strong doses of cruise =
missiles,</DIV>
<DIV>war officials pronounced the =
missiles safe for=20
human consumption when taken as directed and</DIV>
<DIV>said they advise people to make =
their own=20
cruise missiles as homeless defense remedies. </DIV>
<A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/national/28INSU.html?todayshead=
lines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Investigation of Stock Deal Leads to =
Criticism&nbsp;by=20
Union Chiefs</A> An =
investigation=20
into highly profitable stock trades&nbsp;by some labor =
leaders <FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">who sit on the BigBoard of Ullico, an insurance =
company=20
that the union owns, severely =
criticizes=20
the insurer's chairman because he acts just like all other CEOs, to =
feather=20
his own nest by plucking the geese that lay the golden retirement nest=20
eggs. 
<A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/national/28ALAM.html?todayshead=
lines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">U.S. Lab Fires on Investigators After Reports =
Are=20
Leaked</A> The Los Alamos =
National=20
Laboratory (LANL) discharged two investigators this week <FONT =

face=3D"Times New Roman">after their reports on theft and fraud at=20
LANL&nbsp;leaked, anonymously, on a watchdog group:<BR>who were quite =
happy to=20
be pissed off, but water never burns easily even when Labs start=20
fires.</FONT></P>
<P><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman">&#8226; </FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/politics/28THER.html?todayshead=
lines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">U.S. Approves Power Plant in Area Indians Hold=20
Sacred</FONT></A><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman"><BR>They planted a power =
plant in=20
an area, where Indian holds are sacred wrestling locks:<BR>a power plant =
is a=20
corporate snitch, an effective&nbsp;spy for the energy industry=20
managers.</FONT><BR><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman">&#8226; </FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/business/28CRAN.html?todayshead=
lines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">It's&nbsp;SourGrape Season, on Tap&nbsp;and =
under=20
Cap</FONT></A><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman"><BR></FONT><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&#8226; </FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/education/28DEAN.html?todayshea=
dlines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Berkeley Law Dean Quits After =
Inquiry</FONT></A><BR><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">"I just didn't know how to tell the student =
what the law=20
is, <BR>on how to get it off with and without peer pressure,<BR>so I =
resigned in=20
jealous humiliation," said the Dean.</FONT></P>
<P><A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/pages/national/index.html?todaysheadlines"=
><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">MORE NATIONAL NEWS</FONT></A><FONT=20
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face=3D"Times New Roman">
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<TABLE cellSpacing=3D0 cellPadding=3D5 width=3D588 bgColor=3D#f8f5ec =
border=3D0>
  <TBODY>
  <TR>
    <TD><FONT size=3D2><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman"><B>What if Santa =
only checks=20
      his list once?</B> <BR>The Starbucks Card makes the <U>perfect =
gift</U>=20
      ---<BR>It says, "I'm dumbstruck on myself like no other=20
      gift."&nbsp;</FONT></FONT></TD>
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<DIV><FONT color=3D#990000 size=3D2><B>INTERNATIONAL</B></FONT><BR><B><A =

href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/international/middleeast/28TURK=
.html?todaysheadlines">U.S.=20
Lobs Thanksgiving Turkeys with&nbsp;AIDs&nbsp;in Move&nbsp;on=20
Iraq</A> The Bush administration is mounting and stuffing =
turkeys</DIV>
<DIV>in an effort to support the government of Turkey&nbsp;in a =
whites-only=20
meet, to strike open the Northern Front if there is a War with =
Iraq.</DIV>
<DIV>"If we could pull the zipper shut on this really big turkey =
shoot, why,=20
heck, Saddam would be caught with his pants down like that =
doofus&nbsp;at the=20
opening of SOMETHING ABOUT MARY.</DIV>
<A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/international/middleeast/28IRAQ=
.html?todaysheadlines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Unhindered by Iraq Officials, Arms Inspectors =
Visit 3=20
Sites</A> United Nations =
arms=20
inspectors went to three popular underground Iraqi casinos =
yesterday equipped=20
with currency from a new, no-tolerance Mandala game they won =
yesterday, and=20
promptly were strip-searching&nbsp;Iraqi citizens, on the=20
news&nbsp;Wednesday, in a&nbsp;Middle Eastern version of =
spin-the-tail on the=20
donkey with a nuclear weapon. 
<A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/international/28ISRA.html?today=
sheadlines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Netanyahu Fades in Contest to Lead=20
Israel</A> It was widely =
believed=20
that Nathan-the-Yahoo was fading in the sun, <FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">which fact polls&nbsp;reported by =
saying&nbsp;that=20
Nathan-the-Yahoo could lose 20 points or more of his 14 carat =
image&nbsp;in=20
Likut-or-Not Party primary, Thursday. 
&#8226; <A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/international/europe/28HIJA.htm=
l?todaysheadlines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Unbalanced Italian's Hijacking of Flight to =
France Ends=20
Safely</A> What sane person =
would want to=20
escape by air, from Italy to France, when you could just take=20
EuroRail? &#8226; <A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/international/americas/28PREX.h=
tml?todaysheadlines"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">For the U.S., Neighborly Rancor, North and=20
South</A> Good defenses make =
good=20
neighbors, but good offenses make no defenses good. <FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&#8226; <A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/health/28PARA.html?todaysheadli=
nes"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Drug Proves Able to Cure Disease Borne by=20
Parasite</A> Doctor promises to =
rid=20
corporations of CEO-CFO&nbsp;infestations 
<A =
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/pages/world/index.html?todaysheadlines"><F=
ONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">MORE INTERNATIONAL NEWS</A><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"> <FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">
<HR SIZE=3D1>

<DIV><FONT color=3D#990000 size=3D2><B>TECHNOLOGY</B></FONT><BR><B><A=20
href=3D"http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/28/technology/circuits/28goog.html=
?todaysheadlines">Postcards=20