[Peace-discuss] Musings on Why I Do This

[Barbara Dyskant]

Hi all,

I wanted to share this "personal" letter I wrote.    Hopefully we can all come
to share our personal thoughts, as part of our work in these tough (and yet
opportunity-laden) times.
________________________

Thoughts on Letter from Baghdad

I’m writing these personal  thoughts as a mother and someone who, like the
rest
of us, aspires for peace.  It was sparked by a reading of a letter on Sunday
concerning yet another child who died in Iraq.  

Sunday was my daughter Nadine's 11th birthday party.   I was busy preparing
balloons and streamers, getting out healthy snacks, watching Nadine bouncing
happily around the house. She deserved to be celebrated, as all children do. 
At the same time, sometimes I fret about the most frivolous things (in the
scheme of the world today) -- is the couch straight, will the cake turn out
symmetrical, is the chair too ugly to keep visible, do I “need” to buy a new
chair, did someone seem a little grouchy, am I dressed right, will our guests
be upset about my (admittedly poor) housekeeping?   

And all along, there are people out there struggling for their lives, children
dying because a pitiless government, unchecked by its well-meaning yet
insulated population, imposes “sanctions” and would cause mothers just like
me,
who love their children as much as I love mine, to be losing their
children.   
“Everyone’s child” is a very appropriate way to put it.  I, as a mama, have a
special responsibility to this child who came through me.  She serves, among
other things, as her my ambassador to the world of children, so close to
us, so
vulnerable, so needing of our protection.  And because I have the “means” to
take care of and protect her, I can give her food and shelter and nurture her
growth. 

At the same time, she is an ambassador to the world of all children. After her
birth I cried, as many mothers do, over the situation in the world, the
children whose parents don’t have the means to give them what they need to
just
exist, let alone have “personal growth” and music lessons.   And how would I
feel if I were one of those mothers?  If it was my child in the Iraqi
hospital?

The day after the party, Nadine got sick and was shrieking in pain.    She had
a violent stomach ache, and cried out during the night, terrified and
inconsolable.   I’m sure she felt like it would never end.  I held her close,
stayed up with her, gave her a mild remedy with plenty of fluids, and in the
morning she was fine.  I knew that if she needed them, there were doctors,
medicines,, antibiotics,  hospitals;  if it was her appendix there was surgery
readily available.   And I thought about what if I were a mother living where
there were no medicines (or even safe fluids) available because some foreign
country forbade us to have them, for whatever reason, and my daughter was sick
and shrieking in pain (much as Nadine was) and needed those medicines for her
very life, and if my darling, beloved daughter was about to die because
someone
was deliberately withholding what she needed to live.  How would I feel, how
would she feel, what would it mean for the world, for America, who would 
suffer because of our government, who would hate all of us because of it?
And
it is happening.  500,000 Iraqi children, other children all over the world.

Being of Jewish background, I know that there were those who would have done
this to our daughter, simply because she existed.   I can’t imagine anyone
doing this to her, with her bright eyes and loving smile.  Or any other
child. 
How can anyone who knows her relatives suffered persecution go on and support
anyone causing the death of anyone’s children?  Palestinian children, Iraqi
children, any children?   In our name?  In the name of our daughter?  How dare
we say that we are the only ones who were persecuted, or the only ones whose
persecution matters?

How can anyone, from any background, class, country, belief system, whether
persecuted or not, support this?  Anywhere?  In anyone’s name?   Is this
“loving thy neighbor”?

And I know that it isn’t enough that my beloved, beautiful daughter lives, is
healthy, has all the food and medicine and education and personal attention
and
care she needs, and even has a room of her own, flute lessons, and a birthday
party with streamers and balloons.   Yes, I will give my daughter all of
those,
and be thankful I can.  And yes, I will take the time and effort to work for
peace in the world, to work for the basic rights of humanity, even if it means
I have to “give up”  some things.  It is gained back many times as a member of
a world community that will hopefully together bring about a world where all
children, all people, are safe and cared for and can live meaningful lives.
 As
long as some are in terror, we all will be in terror.    I will attempt to
model and teach our children (and myself) that solidarity and support of
all is
vital to peace, within and outside of ourselves. 

I will strive to set an example about  maintaining joy in life and at the same
time reaching out, doing things to maintain peace and stop the worldwide
terrorism inflicted on  children (and adults) across the world and
supported by
those who claim to do it in our name. 

I am happy that we have people joining this, and sharing thoughts together.  

With caring and concern,
Barbara Dyskant
Mother of Raymi, Erek and Nadine


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