[Peace-discuss] I Meant Geraniums

[C. G. Estabrook]

The Borowitz Report
www.borowitzreport.com
Updated July 9, 2003

Breaking News!!
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RETRACTION SHOCKER!

BUSH: SADDAM BOUGHT GERANIUMS, NOT URANIUM
White House Defends War Decision Based on Typo

BY ANDY BOROWITZ

In an extraordinary retraction of key elements in his last State of the
Union Address, President George W. Bush revealed today that Iraqi
strongman Saddam Hussein did not attempt to buy uranium in Africa, as
earlier alleged, but merely geraniums.

"As I was reading the speech to the nation, I should have caught that
typo," the President told reporters today. "My bad."

While the news about the uranium/geranium goof stunned diplomatic circles,
Mr. Bush remained resolute about his decision to go to war, arguing that

buying geraniums, while not as potentially dangerous as buying uranium,
still represented a "suspicious" activity on the part of the Iraqi madman.

"The question we have to ask is, who was he buying these geraniums for?"
Mr. Bush said. "Was he buying them for Osama bin Laden or Kim Jung-Il or
some other evildoer? Luckily, we'll never find out."

Mr. Bush said that, thanks to Operation Iraqi Freedom, "Saddam Hussein is
no longer free to terrorize the world with his evil flower-buying sprees."

While the President may have been trying to quell international criticism,
his comments instead sparked more controversy, as French President Jacques
Chirac challenged the U.S. to find evidence of geraniums anywhere in Iraq.

In response, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld said that while the

U.S. had yet to turn up any concrete evidence of geraniums, U.S. forces
had uncovered several "suspicious" empty flowerpots outside of Basra.

Asked by reporters about the flowerpots, Mr. Bush gave a thumbs-up gesture
and said, "Mission accomplished."

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