[Peace-discuss] This is satire

[jencart at mailstation.com]

Only part of it is satire, David.

-----Original Message-----
From: David Green <davegreen48 at yahoo.com>
Sent: Nov 2, 2004 2:32 PM
To: Discuss Peace <peace-discuss at lists.cu.groogroo.com>
Subject: [Peace-discuss] This is satire

November 1, 2004
FLORIDA TO DECIDE ELECTION BY SHOW OF HANDS

State Loses Instruction Manual for Electronic Voting
Machines

Attempting to head off the kind of voting
irregularities that threw the 
2000
election into chaos, Florida voting officials
announced today that the
state's presidential contest would be determined by a
"show of hands."

In a statewide address broadcast on live television
this morning, 
Florida
Secretary of State Glenda Hood instructed all Florida
voters to start
heading for a vacant trailer park on the outskirts of
Tampa where the
official show of hands will take place.

While acknowledging that a show of hands was an
unorthodox way for 
Florida
to determine who will receive the state's twenty-seven
electoral votes, 
Ms.
Hood said the move became necessary after it was
discovered late last 
week
that the state had lost the instruction manual for its
controversial 
Diebold
electronic voting machines.

An early test of the machines last Wednesday set off
alarms among 
voting
officials when the electronic tally showed
conservative commentator Pat
Buchanan winning the state with 87% of the vote,
despite not appearing 
on
the ballot.

"After searching for the instruction manual, we moved
on to Plan B, 
which
was to operate the voting machines with a hand-crank,"
Secretary of 
State
Hood said.  "But then nobody could find the crank."

Florida Governor Jeb Bush said the show-of-hands
method should not 
shake
Floridians' confidence in the accuracy of the returns,
saying, "We will 
keep
counting hands until we get the result we want."

Elsewhere, Osama bin Laden lashed out at American
broadcast networks 
for
failing to air the final sentence of his tape last
Friday, which was: 
"I'm
Osama bin Laden, and I approve this message."





		
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