[Peace-discuss] What You Must Believe To Be a Republican Today

[jencart at mailstation.com]

Since some of you are thinking about signing up.....

> 
> Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of
> 
> homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
> 
> 
> 
> 2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
> 
> guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when
> 
> Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush
> 
> needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
> 
> 
> 
> 3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
> 
> Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
> 
> to a spirit of international harmony.
> 
> 
> 
> 4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
> 
> own body, but multinational corporations can make
> 
> decisions affecting all mankind without
> 
> regulation.
> 
> 
> 
> 5. The best way to improve military morale is to
> 
> praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans'
> 
> benefits and combat pay.
> 
> 
> 
> 6. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents
> 
> won't have sex.
> 
> 
> 
> 7. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
> 
> longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and
> 
> money.
> 
> 
> 
> 8. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound
> 
> policy. Providing health care to all Americans is
> 
> socialism.
> 
> 
> 
> 9. HMOs and insurance companies have the best
> 
> interests of the public at heart.
> 
> 
> 
> 10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are
> 
> junk science, but Creationism should be taught in
> 
> schools.
> 
> 
> 
> 11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is
> 
> an impeachable offense.
> 
> 
> 
> 12. A president lying to enlist support for a war in
> 
> which thousands die is solid defense policy.
> 
> 
> 
> 13. Government should limit itself to the powers named
> 
> in the Constitution, which include banning gay
> 
> marriages and censoring the Internet.
> 
> 
> 
> 14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's
> 
> cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is
> 
> none of our business.
> 
> 
> 
> 15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a
> 
> crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then
> 
> it's an illness and you need our prayers for your
> 
> recovery.
> 
> 
> 
> 16. You support states' rights, which means Attorney
> 
> General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter
> 
> initiatives they have the right to adopt.
> 
> 
> 
> 17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital
> 
> national interest (smoke pot), but what Bush did in
> 
> the '80s is irrelevant (snort coke and become an
> 
> alcoholic).
> 
> 
> 
> Feel free to pass this on.
> 
> Friends don't let friends vote Republican
> 
> 
> 

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