[Peace-discuss] Relationships

[Karen Medina]

Bob,

I also liked your comments against the conversion mentallity and your comments on appealing to people's sense of humanity.

I'm not so sure that I am wanting to convince people, but I would like people to become as convinced as I am. I guess I would like to help that process.

I'm mostly just thinking out loud and wondering about human nature. We are capable of changing ourselves. I've seen it happen. I hope I change. 

I am definitely not interested in someone confessing their racism. I've got enough prejudices of my own to confess.

Racism and my prejudices are addictive. So maybe there is a 12 step program of addicts helping other addicts change. 

Changing society is a top down approach, and it will work. But working from the bottom up should not be abandoned. I used to work with teens a lot. Wow, there was a lot that we were able to talk about that I think changed people's lives. And yes some of it included taking the kids to work in the Appalachia mountains with poor people and working on Habitat for Humanity projects and going to nursing homes. Connecting people does work. And sometimes it backfires. But I think that if I care about the people who are misunderstanding and the people who are misunderstood, I've got a half-way decent shot at being changed myself.

-karen medina

---- Original message ----
>Date: Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:30:40 -0500
>From: Bob Illyes <illyes at uiuc.edu>  
>Subject: [Peace-discuss] Relationships  
>To: peace-discuss at lists.chambana.net
>
>"Close personal relationships" are thought to grow out of
>common causes and interests rather than out of personal similarity.
>If you look at the friends you've acquired over your lifetime, I think you'll see this pattern. I certainly do in my case.
>
>I'm not sure what you mean by convincing other people, Karen. If you mean convincing a racist that he is a racist, or convincing a racist that there is general racial injustice, I think you are wasting your time. I agree with Ken Salo, that ones arguments should be grounded in concrete injustices if they are to move things toward a more just society. Statistics purporting to show racial inequity won't buy you much. Specific cases of inequity, on
>the other hand, cannot really be argued with, forcing the listener
>to consider appropriate action rather than abstract principle.
>
>Bob
>
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