[Peace-discuss] Rewording

[Jenifer Cartwright]

Good re-write, Bob. Philosophical and economic viewpoints aside, I think this works better because it focuses attention on what is going on NOW (Iraq), and what is likely to happen in the near future (Iran). It's stronger and more to the point.
   
  Others?
   
  Jenifer
   
  
Bob Illyes <illyes at uiuc.edu> wrote:
  I'm not sure how to reword it, Carl, but I'll give it a stab. The first 
sentence is the biggest problem in my opinion. For example, what wars and 
occupations? To make occupation plural you have to consider Israel our 
proxy. This is arguable. To make war plural you have to include Desert 
Storm as an improper war (unless you consider Israel our proxy again). This 
is also arguable- we freed an occupied country. The entire sentence is 
problematic. Consider this:

Who would say "the corporate economy drives America's criminal wars"?
A Marxist.

Would a lot of readers notice this?
Yes.

Can AWARE be effective as an antiwar group if it promotes Marxist ideology?
No.

QED

I'd do something like:

The corporate economy drives America's criminal war and occupation of Iraq, 
and threatens Iran. The profitability of war to the defense industry is the 
obvious reason for this, but there may be a longer-term profit. Both 
Democratic and Republican administrations have demanded that the US control 
Middle East energy resources, even though we import very little oil from 
the Middle East for use in the US. This would not benefit the American 
people, but would give US corporations considerable control over America's 
principal economic competitors, Europe and northeast Asia (China, South 
Korea and Japan).

Bob

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