[Peace-discuss] Unseemly Levity

[Ron Szoke]

Two pieces by satirist Andy Borowitz that may help moderate the ongoing 
pissing contests in this space: 

1.  Fun with Iranicide 
2.  Approved Obama jokes 
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Borowitz Report,  POSTED JULY 14, 2008 
McCain Issues Top Ten Funniest Ways to Kill Iranians 

Cigarettes, Hookah Pipes Top List 

Citing what he called the "overwhelmingly positive response to my jokes about 
killing Iranians," presumptive G.O.P. presidential nominee John McCain issued 
today a list of his favorite humorous remarks on the subject. 

Titled "John McCain's Top Ten Funniest Ways to Kill Iranians," the list was 
published on his official campaign website at 
www.JohnMcCain.com/funnywaystokilliranians. 

Speaking in a video on the site, a smiling Sen. McCain says, "My friends, in 
these trying times in which we live, there's one thing all Americans can agree on: 
killing Iranians is hilarious." 

Sen. McCain, who first joked about killing Iranians months ago by singing 
"bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys' hit 
"Barbara Ann" and who yesterday commented that the U.S. could kill Iranians 
with cigarettes, was apparently "just warming up," one aide said today. 

"Anyone who has enjoyed Sen. McCain's side-splitting jokes about killing 
Iranians will be blown away by this list," the aide said. "He's in fine form." 

Sen. McCain's list of funny ways to kill Iranians ranges from the caustic - "Send 
Iran lead-based hookah pipes from China" - to the whimsical - "Tell Christie 
Brinkley that Iran has been cheating on her." 

The list ends with what Sen. McCain dubs the number one funniest way to kill 
Iranians: "Vote for me."               

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Borowitz Report, POSTED JULY 15, 2008 
Obama Releases List of Approved Jokes About Himself 
Bid to Help Late Night Comics 

Saying he is "sympathetic to late night comedians' struggle to find jokes to make 
about me," Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) today issued a list of official campaign- 
approved Barack Obama jokes. 

The five jokes, which Sen. Obama said he is making available to all comedians 
free of charge, are as follows: 

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station 
attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get 
many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not 
surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil." 

A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his 
surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, "I was expecting 
the farmer's daughter." Barack Obama replies, "She's not here. The farm was 
foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the 
American Dream." 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" Barack 
Obama replies, "His jockey just lost his health insurance, which should be the 
right of all Americans." 

Q: What's black and white and red all over? 
Barack Obama: The New Yorker magazine, which should be embarrassed after 
publishing such a tasteless and offensive cover, which I reject and denounce. 

A Christian, a Jew and Barack Obama are in a rowboat in the middle of the 
ocean. Barack Obama says, "This joke isn't going to work because there's no 
Muslim in this boat."