[Peace-discuss] NYT op-ed about Cheney defending "enhanced" interrogation techniques

Wed Apr 29 17:10:57 CDT 2009

Actually, I think that's not the case.  Cheney is a symptom, not the disease.

Look at his history.  He flunked out of Yale twice, at a time (the early 1960s) 
when the only way that happened was for "emotional difficulties." (Ask some 
sexagenarian who was there, and remember that "the sixties" didn't start until 
the middle of the decade).

He reinvented himself as an apparatchik to the US ruling class, with the help of 
a wife who seems a good bit smarter (and more vicious) than he.  (Read her novel.)

He's a caricature only in the sense that a cartoon exaggerates an existing 
feature, so that it can be seen better.  And it's childish to think that what he 
represents isn't perfectly present in the current administration. --CGE

E. Wayne Johnson wrote:
> Cheney in real life is caricature surreal enough.
> 
> 
> 
> Stuart Levy wrote:
>> On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 01:45:19PM -0500, Karen Medina wrote:
>>   
>>> [This was in the op-ed of the New York Times today, about Cheney
>>> defending torture. Very odd writing indeed. Some parts of this sound
>>> plausible for Cheney, some parts ridiculous, even for Cheney. -kem ]
>>>     
>>
>> Maureen Down should take better parody lessons.  From Harry Shearer maybe.
>>  
>>   
>>> April 29, 2009
>>> OP-ED COLUMNIST
>>> Vice’s Secret Vices
>>>
>>> By MAUREEN DOWD
>>> WASHINGTON
>>>
>>> In a closed-door session on Tuesday, Dick Cheney testified before the
>>> Senate Intelligence Committee, which is investigating the “enhanced”
>>> interrogation techniques of “high value” detainees.
>>>
>>> This columnist gained exclusive “access” to the classified testimony
>>> of the “deeply missed” former vice president.
>>>
>>> The chairwoman of the committee, Dianne Feinstein, began by telling
>>> Cheney that she was “shocked personally” by what she had learned about
>>> the brutality of the way prisoners were treated.
>>>
>>> “Those insects weren’t even poisonous,” Cheney growled. “Facial slaps?
>>> Abdominal slaps? Throwing a naked man into a wall? Kid stuff. Those
>>> methods worked. They kept us safe for seven years. Safer than with
>>> that delicate Hawaiian orchid in the White House. America is coming
>>> across as weak and indecisive. Just when Rummy and I had stomped out
>>> that ‘Blame America First’ flower-child culture, Obama has dragged it
>>> back, apologizing profusely all over the world for the country he’s
>>> running, canoodling with greasy dictators, kissing up to those weasels
>>> in Europe, which is only free today because of our military. Friends
>>> and foes alike will be quick to take advantage if they think they’re
>>> dealing with a Creamsicle.”
>>>
>>> Senator John McCain, looking disgusted, began yelling at Cheney,
>>> telling him that waterboarding someone 183 times in a month was
>>> against the law. “The Japanese who did that in World War II were tried
>>> and hanged,” he sneered.
>>>
>>> “Shut your piehole,” Cheney replied flatly. “Everyone’s sick of you
>>> being an apologist for torture. Why don’t you go join that pantywaist
>>> Specter on the other side where you belong?”
>>>
>>> Senator Russ Feingold got into the fray, asking Cheney sarcastically:
>>> “Can you tell us exactly which terrorist plots were foiled by
>>> torture?”
>>>
>>> Cheney offered his mirthless smile. “Certainly,” he replied. “Shortly
>>> after 9/11, we disrupted a plot to assassinate a senator, penetrating
>>> two terrorist cells and uncovering a Serbian scheme. Our interrogator
>>> used a chokehold, threatened to withhold a detainee’s heart medicine,
>>> and broke a few laws, but it was well worth it.”
>>>
>>> Feingold interrupted with thinly veiled contempt: “You’re telling us
>>> now that the Serbs are linked to Al Qaeda?”
>>>
>>> Cheney nodded. “Of course. Then, the following year, we were able to
>>> get a lead on an international terrorist named Syed Ali and stop a
>>> nuclear bomb from being detonated in Los Angeles. Sure, an enemy
>>> combatant was shot in the chest. Yes, a hacksaw came into play. There
>>> was some wall slamming, throat grabbing and when Ali wouldn’t talk
>>> because he was doing ‘Allah’s work,’ our agent had to feign the
>>> shooting death of Ali’s first-born son. But in the end we averted
>>> World War III with three Middle East countries and kept America safe
>>> from a suitcase bomb.
>>>
>>> “In 2004, we thwarted the spread of a deadly weaponized virus strain.
>>> The following year, after some unsuccessful attempts at sensory
>>> disorientation with detainees, we got a torture specialist who had a
>>> way with a taser and his trusty syringe. Strict measures, like
>>> breaking fingers one by one and using an electrical cord from a lamp
>>> to shock a suspect, were necessary. We were under attack by a
>>> terrorist named Habib Marwan who controlled a bunch of Middle East
>>> terrorist cells. They were planning to meltdown nuclear power plants
>>> across the country, shoot down Air Force One and set off a nuclear
>>> missile. On top of that, we were dealing with a mole in our
>>> counterterrorism unit.
>>>
>>> “In 2006, after an incident with the man who made history by becoming
>>> the first black president ...”
>>>
>>> Senator Feinstein interrupted: “Excuse me, Mr. Cheney, are you talking
>>> about Barack Obama?”
>>>
>>> “I said the first black president,” Cheney snapped, before continuing:
>>> “Our interrogator needed to do some things outside protocol. There was
>>> an exploding vest, a foot digging into a wound, an injection of
>>> pain-inducing hyoscine-pentothal, a threat to cut out the eyes of a
>>> suspect being interrogated unless he confessed where the Sentox nerve
>>> gas cannisters were. But the Geneva Conventions are a small thing to
>>> give up when you consider that we broke up a nefarious plot that
>>> reached to the highest levels — the Oval Office.”
>>>
>>> Senator Olympia Snowe looked confused: “But you were in the Oval
>>> Office in 2006, Mr. Cheney.”
>>>
>>> Something dawned on Evan Bayh and he smiled grimly. “Didn’t it turn
>>> out in the end, Dick,” he asked, “that some of these so-called
>>> terrorist plots were really domestic villains with black ops teams
>>> scheming to control the oil supply and get rich? Sort of like what you
>>> did with Iraq and Halliburton?”
>>>
>>> Cheney glared at him, saying “We’re the patriots.” Bayh walked over
>>> and whispered something to the chairwoman.
>>>
>>> “Mr. Cheney,” Feinstein said, sounding shocked, “your testimony is
>>> delusional, not to mention derivative.”
>>>
>>> Cheney looked apoplectic, not to mention apocalyptic. “How dare you,”
>>> he cried, “demean our country’s finest counterterrorism agent, Jack
>>> Bauer?”
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