[Peace-discuss] "Satire is what closes on Saturday night"

[C. G. Estabrook]

[I posted the following to Facebook, but my wife made me take it down. It 
accompanied an article about how Hezbollah had attained a majority in the 
Lebanese cabinet (and as someone said in the Daily Star of Lebanon, "This 
government represents one party, which is clearly part of the Syrian-Iranian 
axis").  I've always been interested in presidential speech writers - their work 
lacks the artistic and moral integrity of, say, a piano-player in a brothel, but 
it presents its own challenges. (The most reprinted article of mine is a parody 
of Clinton's announcement of the bombing of Kosovo.) So here's a speech for BHO, 
in the not too distant future. --CGE]


LADIES & GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES:

"My fellow Americans. Tonight, the armed forces of the United States and its 
valiant allies, operating from from airbases in Iraq, Israel and Afghanistan 
[the damn Turks wouldn't let us use theirs] and from aircraft carriers in the 
Mediterranean and the Persian Gulf, have attacked the forces that are impeding  
the Arab Spring - in Damascus and Beirut, as well as their sponsors and 
paymasters in Tehran.

"Due to the distances involved in bombing at one time Syria, Lebanon, and Iran - 
and the threat of a secret Iranian nuclear weapon - it has unfortunately been 
necessary to use tactical nuclear weapons on Iranian sites.  This of course is 
in no sense an escalation, but rather a fulfillment of the American commitment 
to protect civilians throughout the region who seek only a movement toward 
stable democracy..."  [MORE]