[Newspoetry] Late Night Radio: ODing on Empty Waves of Grain Void

[DL Emerick]

I hate retractions. 
I retract this claim:
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"... nothing that you couldn't have found discussed extremely well in the Sunday comic sections of the newspaper."
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Why do I retract?
Not for lack of truth,
sorry, quite otherwise.

I had a call in the night,
truly it was a house call,
or a call of nature,
a call of the wild,
from a call center,
or a recall center,
calling me out,
"DL, you can't say that!"

"Why the hell not?"
(I patented that,
by the royal way,
so send royalties
if you want to say
"why the hell..."
or "why the hell not..."
or even "what the hell..."
I cheaply patented it,
this public expression,
out of the public domain,
just as you patent land
out of the public domain,
taking oil or mineral lands,
worth billions for private use,
all part of the Bush plan,
the Ownership Salvation Society,
or OSS, to those who care,
why the hell not, I say,
(and you see it's good,
the fact I own this patent,
because I'd go broke,
paying you or anyone else).

Indeed, let all the clubs
Sierra, Wildlife, whatever,
patent out enormous parcels
take it out of untrustworthy hands,
such as own the public domain.
Imagine this headline:
SIERRA CLUB PATENTS ALL US LANDS,
That'd make OSS shit a brick!

Oh, that night call...
I retract (take a tract back),
I retreat (take a treat back).
Why, or why the hell,
you can quote me on this,
if you give proper cites,
or incites or recites,
and I won't sue you,
as I do this take back,
due to this complaint.

The Cartoon Illustrators Association called.  They complained of my analogy, comparing them unfavorably to the overly bally-hooed work of intelligence organizations.

"Unfair comparison," I said, contrastingly in disbelief!!!  "Why, I thought my analogy rather suggested that you cartoonists did a better job at prophetic insight than the hired seers of those false mercantilist gods."

"Well, sir, we hate to break the news to you.  We are the CIA and we have been using the cartoons for years to steer public discussion in America.  And, there you are saying we don't know what's going on!  There you are saying we don't do anything withor billions.  Well, you can say all you want.  It's a free country..." (and here my conversationalist began choking in laughter, unable to speak for a moment or two) "... but you can't reveal (take a veil back) Our State Secrets!"

(Ooops, the OSS again, I thought they went out business long before GWI and GWII, the mother of all wars and her bastard son.)

I promised to retract and say it was just an idiot thing.
Ok, so the CIA is an idiot thing, and so is their old man, the OSS.  There!  Happy now!  There's a knock at the door... nope, it's not a knock, they're blowing the door off the hinges... eeek...  Press send and surrender before those sirs render me, off to Rice and Cheney Land.... ahhhhh, one last fleeting thought, the one that Archimedes had, when they came throught the door for him...

"Don't disturb my drawings..."  what a waste, what a was...